Shayne, my guide dog star and friend

I was honored to be interviewed by Rebecca Alexander for the Usher Society “Sense Stories”. We talked about many things; of the reality that life can be quite fun, and that some tools, like a guide dog, are super important. Especially when you have both hearing and vision loss. It is hard to explain what you need in words, but a dog doesn’t need words. Together you make a team that can go wherever life takes you, safely.

Click on this link to view interview.

And you can see our short video clip about Shayne!

Free Cultural Competence Podcast on supporting clients with vision loss.

Recently, Clearly Clinical did an interview with me to learn more about what it is like emotionally to be unable to see like everybody else. To be another - the odd duck. You can watch it here: https://clearlyclinical.com/podcast/ceu-social-work-clients-visually-impaired

I was struck with a few observations as I did the very kind & skillful interview.

• It really is painful to not be believed.

• The idea that if you are anxious or fearful because a lot of sudden surprises happen every day, might be interpreted as an MH issue keeps folks away from counseling.

• That progressive - chronic loss is hard to grieve. Everybody says - but you can still see some! With good coaching - skills you can learn to grieve whenever it comes up. This promotes healthy growth.

• When and if ( likely you do) you have people in your practice with progressive vision loss, it is really important for you to know what is or isn’t related to blindness. And to not say - “ Are you sure? You don’t look blind. ” In truth, totally blind folks with good blindness skills look sighted as well. Yet as you can imagine, facing and slowly encroaching threat of not being able to see is really hard to face alone.

• In truth blindness need not be a barrier to independence or employment - anything really. With training and emotional support for those very real unseen events, life can be very good.
  

• Full of purpose & functionality.
  

Blindness Bias and It's Cost - Insights for Mental Health Professionals

When someone with vision loss asks themselves, "Am I blind enough to use a cane or have a guide dog?" it's often the result of doubt that has crept in because of an experience and commentary they received about their sight. Maybe a mental health professional, personal friend, colleague, or stranger questioned if they were "blind enough" to warrant a cane or guide dog because they were able to see their watch or push a button somewhere. The important thing to note is that other people cannot determine this.

There is no specific number that dictates the need for a guide dog or cane.

Rather it's a matter of the ability to function safely. And that will be different for each person. Even I as a person with significant vision loss questioned if I was blind enough to have a guide dog.

I had to learn to advocate for myself and my needs. The general rule of thumb now for me is, if I understand that something would help me function better and be safer, then I am "blind enough" to warrant having and using that resource, tool, etc.

Every mental health professional needs to be aware of the subtle interactions that occur every day can impact your clients who are dealing with varying levels of vision loss. These people are often given so much conflicting feedback that they miss getting the support and reality check they need to be safe and function optimally in the world.

General guideline: If it helps someone be safe, then they need it.

Become Culturally Competent

To explore how to identify and interact with those dealing with significant vision, check out my latest cultural competency course:

https://www.adaptabilityforlife.com/cultural-competence-training

Do you know how to help a Person that is legally blind?

What do you do when diagnosed with progressive blindness?

When I was 14 my sister, who is 18 years older than me,  was diagnosed with RP - which stands for retinitis pigmentosa, a form of progressive blindness that slowly steals the field of vision from the outside, eventually leading to total blindness. It was strange, as it was a family secret. We all wondered what it meant, how to tell if it was worse - and we could not imagine life being normal ever again. My dad talked constantly about the tragedy - was sure that she would need to be cared for.  We could see her grieving which came out as being uptight and short-tempered, yet we had no clue how to help. We feared the worse in a vacuum of information. In truth, she lived independently and was an employed, gifted teacher until age 76, in spite of being totally blind for 25 years. Fast forward to now, I am 62, and still can see a little bit.  I also have RP and like her and my other sister, have Master’s degrees, live independently, and work successfully. We live full, productive lives. I have learned much through my experiences in staying independent and changing careers from a successful electrician, then teacher, and now a counselor. I know that blindness can be adapted too, and it need not be a barrier. I have had the honor of helping over a hundred people with different levels and types of legal blindness as a vocational rehabilitation counselor. I helped them gain employment and independence. 

Yet, I learned that there is an unnecessary barrier that is hard to fight. The attitudes of people who cannot imagine that this adaptability is possible - who spout their misinformation about the future as fear, doubt, and discouragement. Not believing that with hard work, specialized training, and support - anything is possible. In spite of the thousands of people who are blind, who have proved them wrong. It would seem that these uneducated-sighted people are blind too. 

Now, I am invested in preventing others from the pain of isolation and lack of knowledge about how to make the adaptations to living full and productive lives, no matter how much they can see.  To help those family members and professionals who interact with them to have hope and confidence in the possibilities. To relieve the fears about losing independence and employability. That they have the ability to pursue their dreams no matter how much they can see with their eyes. 

I do this by teaching seminars by allowing people to learn what is hard, and what can be easy if done differently. I show practical examples of easy, low-cost ways to make print accessible. I tell real-life stories to illustrate the difficult dilemmas of being legally blind that open the doors to understanding and support opportunities.  I talk about this odd phenomenon of - not being blind enough.  It goes like this. A person uses a long white cane after extensive training and vetting that they are legally blind - yet a random person accuses them of faking.  They say, hey, I saw you look at your watch or your phone or whatever. You are not -really - blind?! Which, if believed by the person who is legally blind, is the worst negative feedback a person who is trying to maintain function and safety in blindness hears. In a way, this prejudice based on ignorance steals their right to live their lives successfully. Essentially, shaming them for using the white cane that gives them freedom and safety.

I am determined to educate people about the truths about legal blindness. I do this 1:1 or through interesting- experiential seminars for groups. I write blogs and provide free resources to professionals. 

I have a company called Adaptability for Life LLC. I work with people to be able to communicate more easily and know how to provide the right support based on the different types of blindness. I also provide coaching or counseling depending on the needs of individuals, whether they are blind or have a family member or client that is struggling with loss of vision. 

For more information - or sign up for a seminar so you can help not unknowingly hurt or disconnect email deb@adaptabilityforlife.com

or go to my website https://adaptabilityforlife.com

Smart stress release

Mind Body Self Care Skills - Shaking & Dancing

Have you ever been so frustrated and just don’t want to yell, but yet you need to let it out somehow? Or maybe you did something big, set a boundary or were really vulnerable, and you are feeling that shaky, weird energy? This is where shaking with or without dancing is helpful. It sounds too woo-woo, and maybe a bit scary. Hang on, it is actually pretty simple, can be done anywhere, and can be quite effective in letting your body recover from life’s upsetting events. It is my most favorite self-care mind body skill - at the moment. :)

According to research you can find at The Center of Mind Body Medicine at this link https://cmbm.org/research/published-research/ These techniques done regularly really do work to heal many chronic illnesses, post-traumatic stress disorder and more. It works by helping your body deactivate the flight or fight center of your brain, so you can feel more peaceful, and think better.

So how and when do you do it? Preferably, frequently at least daily, or whenever you feel tense or frustrated, or even when you need to focus, like before a test. Shaking is best to be done somewhere you will not feel judged, or worry about what body part might jiggle. You can even do this in the bathroom stall. Typically takes 10 minutes yet if you do a shorter version, three minutes can make a positive difference. Be aware, that this can be a way to release powerful emotions, just keep going through the tears, or anger or joy if you do not block the feelings. It is OK. Let the emotions flow through. Trust the process.

Step 1: Turn on Shaking Music, it really helps to have strong rhythm, with drums for the shaking such as a cardio workout track, remix or meditation. The dance music can be light and airy, or fast and definite, or bouncy easy to dance to music. This choice will change with your needs. Plan on a few minutes at first and try to work up to about 6 minutes of both shaking and dancing music.

Step 2: Close your eyes, standing is best, though you can do this in bed or sitting too, if that works better for you. If your balance is poor with your eyes closed, use a fingertip to touch the wall, or the back of a chair.

Step 3: start jiggling your ankles in your shoes, see how loose you can make them, and work your way up through all your joints. Do not forget your jaw and head. Breath normally, though you might want to focus on letting your tummy jiggle too. Jiggle as hard as your body can without harming yourself. At first you may notice twinges as the vertebrae and other parts of the body release their tension. Keep going until the music stops.

Step 4: Then pause for about 30 seconds of silence, turn on dance music, and let your body move how it will, let it guide you.

Step 5: Continue for about 3-6 minutes depending on your level of fitness and endurance.

Step 6: Take a few full breaths, how do you feel now? You may want to note or journal your experiences.

Let me know what you think about this mind body skill.

New York City Sunset Cruise - Orange sky and black buildings